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Age. 29
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location San Jose, CA
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Random Stuff
Out of the Closet (and into a new layout)
Tuesday. 7.3.07 12:48 am
Ok, before I blow up, I'd like to point out the obvious; I got a new layout. It's a bit dark for my tastes, but it'll do for now. :D

Ok, now I'm gonna blow up. ^_^

One of my closest friends just came out of the closet. And uh....... none of us handled it very well. I know a lot of his friends have been absolutely horrible; even the ones I least expected. I mean, I've never seen people change attitudes so fast. One of the "nicest sweetest" guys I knew screamed: "What the f*ck is your problem?!!" when we first heard.

A lot of us treated it as a joke. Unfortunately, that includes me. When he told me, I laughed and said, "That's great!". Wrong answer. Another guy was like, "Dude, you're not *****! What did you do with the real *****?!" and cracked up. Needless to say, he got mad. Really mad.

I just feel really really bad about it now. I mean, I've known this guy for a long time; we hang out a lot, pretended to be going out to get discounts, made fun of random idiots, etc. And when he got all serious and told me that he was gay, I should have taken him seriously. I don't know... the thought that he was serious never crossed my mind. I should have realized, should have noticed.

I don't know if he's forgiven me for not taking it seriously. He's talking to me; that's a good sign. But when I visited his Facebook, I was really shocked to see so many mean messages on his wall. Honestly, I did not see ONE supportive comment. I just felt awful. I wish that for once, I could say the right thing at the right time. I know it really hurt him to have his friends reject him like this.

I think I take too many people at face value. I have a lot of friends who hide problems behind cheerful personalities. I should have been paying more attention to how my friend was acting. Then maybe I wouldn't have failed him when he needed my support.

Thankfully, he's not...suicidal yet. I'm worried, but I don't know what else I can do. He'd better not commit suicide tonight; I promised to visit him tomorrow and help him find some support groups. Hope he'll be OK.

And now I feel kinda sick... is it emotional stress or eating too much chow mein? I wonder...

naruto and sasuke r cute. but as u know, i would really love to see one of them dead.. bwahahha

i always take my friends seriously. i might first laugh and then my face turn serious.

you might hurt ur friend's feeling. instead of feeling guilty, learn this lesson and tell urself tat u won't do this again in future.
» renaye on 2007-07-03 04:16:58

fireworks= what?? >.< ill come back and comment more when i get home ^^
» crz4manga on 2007-07-03 05:41:27

I'm so glad that none of my friends responded unfavorably when I decided to tell them. It would have been completely unbearable. It's already hard enough being something that isn't considered the norm--especially for teens--but to have what you thought was your support system completely give way from underneath you...

I guess I'm lucky I can say that I can't even know what that feels like.

Well, it's good you feel remorseful about what you did. Your friend will definitely need your support to weather this truly life-changing experience. It's important for him to know you'll be there.
» ranor on 2007-07-03 06:14:00

I hope he dun kill himself either.

Oh, I like your new layout.

» Dilated on 2007-07-03 07:13:20

Ahahaaha! I LOVE your new layout!! If you don't mind, you can give it to me when you're done with it.. XD Umm.. is your best friend gay or something? whatever the matter is, hope he doesn't kill himself.. that's a waste. don't blame yourself for missing the signs.. it's not that easy to see especially when they hide behind a smiley facade.
» Nuttz on 2007-07-04 03:24:31

i like the new layout ^^
and.. i really hope its from eating too much, its much easier to cure ^^
dont worry... i never notice signs until its too late... people just dont say things to me... and im just too thick >.<
» crz4manga on 2007-07-05 08:44:14

You should tell your friend right away how you didn't think he was serious. How you support him and didn't mean to hurt him. The longer you wait the longer it will seem "fake". When he came out he must have known what could have happened. They do not take it lightly. They know how most of the world views their choice which is why it's very hard to come out. I have faith he will gain much knowledge by this. He has seen who his real friends are and who he can really count on. Make sure that he knows you are one of them and that you are not giving him lip service or just trying to be a good friend. Make sure he knows you ARE a good friend and things will work out for the best.

Every girl should have a gay guy friend. They are totally the best! XD
» Katrina on 2007-07-12 11:06:02

same kinda thing happened to me
my friend, lets call him A for his privacy, came out to me, and a few of my other friends. but the reactions were completely different to what you described. maybe i go to a more open school, but everyone accepted it. for me, it wasn't even a shock, we pretty much knewA was gay anyway. i do know that he told us as his friends, we're not allowed to spread it around school, as there are some homophobic people there. its sad that your friend has to go through that, if you want him to forgive you for not taking him seriously, i recommend standing up for him. yell at the people who leave mean comments, and that 'nicest sweetest guy', let him know you're not thinking he's so nice and sweet anymore. may sound drastic, but i seriously can't stand people like that. who are meant to be friends but who don't even support you through something as difficult as coming out of the closet. i think its through personal experiance that i get worked up about homophobia, as even though i am not gay, when i was 11 i didn't want to go out with guys(i still thought they were icky) so i turned down any guy who asked me out...yeah, my school was kinda advanced for 11 year olds....and of course, they all go and tell people that i must be gay. and everyone believes them, so they make my life hell for all of three years, on the basis of a rumour. i can only imagine what someone who actually came out of the closet must be going through, but i remember, i was treated like the black death and completely ostracised. it was awful. and if at least one person had stood up for me, it would have been a hundred times easier to deal with, and maybe if you stand up for him, others will see you doing it, and start to help him too...
» emma ( on 2007-08-07 01:20:19


i'm sorry i didnt read this earlier ;_; if i did i could have tried to help... how is the situation now? =3 is it better?

to be honest, i dont understand why he would be faced with rude comments and the lot? there's nothing wrong with being gay... i feel sorta sorry for the guy =/

i mean, we have a couple of gay guys at our school (they're not gay with each other!) but no one really treats them any differently. of course i've had the feeling that they don't really want other people outside our school/their little group of friends to know, but i dont understand why people would be so downright mean to them =/

it really is a shame ;_;

people like me, however, jump at the opportunity to have a gay friend! XD there was this guy who was gay on the german exchange i went on and nobody gave him any grief, in fact, he was spoiled rotten, but we still had a really great time and met up together and went iceskating, to gigs etc and the lot! =3 they're really fun to hang out with, and c'mon! you can even go on about how fit johnny depp is to each other! XD

anyways... i guess if one of my childhood friends suddenly told me he was gay im not sure how i would react, but being a big fan of yaoi/s-ai i would just be like 'OMW THIS IS SO COOOOOOL!!!! XDDD' or something ^^;;

how is the situation now? have you told him you didn't actually realise he was serious, and that you're apologetic for not being as supportive as you could have been? hopefuly that would make things a lot better... i hope you two go back to being good friends again! =D

and now you can pretend to be a couple without having the fear he might fancy you ;)


p.s. the new layout is nice ^_^
» Kuri on 2007-10-01 10:37:45

You are human
You are human and make mistakes. As for his friends, it turned out that they were never his real friends and he needs to part ways with them.

One of my closest friends is gay and I love him like a brother. So what if your friend likes dudes? That's one thing yall got in common and as long as he is talking to you that's great! Just be there for him.

Nice layout
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